A CAT CALLED MERLOT

Thursday 14th October 2021

The weather has turned colder, leaves are falling from the trees like burnished confetti and finally, after days of me staring longingly at it, in the evenings, the stove has been. I did venture out briefly on Tuesday to patrol my garden as Queenie said she had a supermarket delivery and  it was unfortunate as it was “raining cats and dogs”. It wasn’t her usual terminology, so I had to go out and make sure the bodies weren’t piling up on the lawn. As there was nothing unusual to report, I came back in, wet and a little grumpy at the false alarm but cheered up enormously when I heard the driver of the delivery van was Gideon (ex resident of The Avenue Eco Pod). He came in and helped Queenie unpack the shopping and updated her on his new life. 

“Still on these then?” He said with a grin, holding up a packet of chocolate biscuits. “Medicinal” said Queenie, hiding them from herself, at the back of the cupboard. 

He asked her if she’d got a new man, to which she replied that since she’d purchased a sophisticated coffee machine, taken out comprehensive plumbing and boiler insurance and started listening the Archer’s Omnibus on a Sunday morning, she really had no need.

On Saturday morning, a strange, noisy car pulled up onto the driveway. Queenie, who was on the phone to her friend Alex, opened the door and found a middle aged man standing on the doorstep wearing a track suit with a baseball cap on back to front. 

  “Yo!” he said holding out his arm to do what humans call a “fist bump” which I believe is friendly and not travelling at speed which is simply called “a punch”. It’s best not to get them mixed up, I feel. 

Queenie looked bemused but found her fist reluctantly connecting with his. 

 “I’m your bro’” he said with a grin, “Your brother! Darren…Remember?”

At this point Queenie said she’d call Alex back.

 “Don’t recognise me out of my fancy dress, huh?” He stood with his arm open doing a riding motion with the other hand and pulling a silly face.

Queenie looked at him as though he’d lost his mind, “My brother’s called Stephen. Have you got the right house?” She said, optimistically.

Darren leaned back and pointed at her with fingers like pretend pistols, “You’re kidding me, right?”

Queenie made a sort of embarrassed exhaling sound and shook her head.

 “I’m Tic-Tac Teddy’s son!”

Her eyes widened and not in a good way, “Oh, that Darren!”

 “Thought as I was in the area doing a bit of, you know?” he winked, “Business, I’d pop round and see my new sis in her gaff and get better acquainted!”

 “Right…well, the thing is, er Darren, I’m just on my way out.”  

That didn’t ring quite true, as she was still in her dressing gown and I had a distinct feeling this blended family thing wasn’t going to work.

From today, I’m taking a break from writing my diary, to have some new adventures but I hope to be back soon! Stay safe, Love Merlot xx